My Sweetest Downfall
by Ruusukainen
Summary: Even when you are somewhere across the country, there are still things that makes you come back home. Fab 4.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – **The lyrics are by The Fray and Patrick Park.

**Summary –** Even when you are somewhere across the country, there are still things that makes you come back home.

**Disclaimer –** I don't own anything.

* * *

**My Sweetest Downfall** - Chapter 1

* * *

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

Ryan looked at his eight-year old, who played happily in the back yard. Chino was known as a violent place, but that didn't seem to bother the boy. He kept on going back and fort between the swing and the sandbox.

Ryan was quite satisfied at the life he had built around himself. He had a beautiful girlfriend, who got looks from other men. They also had a son together, Marcus, who had his father's intelligence and his mother's incerity. Theresa's pregnancy had been a step back for both of them, but those feelings had changed after the baby had been born.

The Cohens were nothing but a missing peace in his life. He missed the warmness, that they created just by their presence. He missed that love they made by their simple words.

But things could have been even worse.

They had a nice, little house, where they lived together as a family. He had a job at constructions, Theresa worker at a near restaurant as a waiter, so they spent their breaks together. Marcus was on second grade in school. He wasn't the most popular kid in his school, but not the most teased one either. He had a chance to live a peaceful childhood, unlike his father.

* * *

Summer stepped in to her apartment. She felt relieved, when one day at work was again behind.

She walked to the living room's window, where she saw the view to New York's busy streets. She had lived there already couple of years, but still it amazed her. She didn't miss Newport at all. At least those people, who betrayed and then left her alone.

She had finished high school at Harbor, feeling lonely and being an outsider. There had been times, when she had been depressed, but she kept on fighting. While graduating she had been the best on her class. She was accepted in Brown and she was happy to get out of Newport.

In college Summer concentrated in herself and in her studies. The Old-Summer would just have run after boys and fail all tests. But the New-Summer was more mature and she thought about things before getting into action.

There was still something missing from her life. Friends and family. Love and caring. Secretly Summer hoped for a boyfriend by her side. People, who would hug her while walking past. Someone, that would comfort her while feeling alone.

She missed Ryan, who had turned everyones lifes for the better. Thinking later Summer had realised, that Ryan was propably the most honest boy she had ever met.

She missed Seth, who brought light and humor to an every day life. Seth was a naive person, but maybe that ahd been the most attractive feature.

She missed Marissa, who she had known since a little girl. She had told Marissa her most biggest problems and secrets. But it shouldn't have been surprise, that Marissa left, too. But it hurt her very much.

Now she was alone in a big city, being kicked by the big world.

* * *

Marissa Ward stretched the sheets of their bed, thoughtful. She had the presentation of her new cloth-collection ahead and Marissa was trying to learn her speech. Luke had already gone to work, so the house was nicely quiet.

Marissa liked to be alone once in a while, but still she wanted her man beside her. Luke seamed to be like her better half. Usually is was the other way around, but exceptions happens.

Marissa didn't have any complains about her life. Sometimes she thought Luke wasn't like Ryan, but usually she had been scared of her thoughts. She had forgiven Luke and fallen in love again. They wanted to live more freely, so that's why they dropped out of school. Of course, Marissa missed her best friend, but the new lifestyle had sounded more tempting.

Marissa and Luke travelled in their favorite places around the world, stopping by in almost every continent at least once. They didn't have any problems with money, their parents paid all the expenses.

Years later Luke had suggested settling down in Miami. Marissa had thought about it and decided, that it was time. First step was to get married. They decided to do it in a registry office, because that was the easiest way. The thought about a child, too, but they decided to make their careers first.

Marissa chose to become a cloth-designer and she was going to start her studies. Someone of Luke's friends noticed her talents and took her straight to work.

Now she was making her dream come true, as her third collection was ready.

* * *

Seth sat on a rock at the beach and stared the ocean. Sometimes chips and boats went past and made a little noise. Birds flew and screamed from the bottom of their lungs.

Sailing classes had ended from the day and Seth was just waiting for Amrk to pick him up.

Mark was Seth's best friend, which probably was because of their differences. Their friendship was just like Seth and Ryan once had. Seth liked to talk and mess around, when Mark was a strong, silent type.

Seth has lived in Portland for almost eight years. Ever since Ryan had gone to Chino with Theresa. He was left alone with his girlfriend, but that wasn't enough.

Seth had decided to leave it all behind.

He had gone sailing to Tahiti, like he had always dreamed of. Somehow he lost curse, and ended up in Portland. He ran into Luke's dad and lived with him about a month. Then he had made enough money to rent his own place. That time he met Mark and took him as his tenant.

Sometimes he thought about his parents and their reactions.

Sometimes he thought about Ryan and his new life.

He also thought about Summer, the love of his life.

He thought they all were better without him and that's why he didn't keep in contact or go back home.

If Seth would have only known how wrong he was.

* * *

At the end of the evening they all got the same message in to their e-mails.

_This is not easy to tell or even to understand. Sandy died this afternoon... They don't know the whole reason, but I guess it has something to do with his heart. I would like you to come to the funeral, which are on Thursday. Sandy would have wanted you to come, together._

_Kirsten_

_Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep  
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet  
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall  
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all _

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – **The lyrics are by Patrick Park and Regina Spektor.

* * *

**My Sweetest Downfall** – Chapter 2

* * *

_Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep  
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet  
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall  
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all _

Summer drove around the streets of Newport Beach. She remembered every shop she drived past and imagined herself in there fitting clothes and shoes. That was the old-Summer. Now she just had a simple black dress and flat shoes. She liked them.

She drove in front of her old house. Her dad is now dead, so there was no reason for her to go in. She just sat in her car and remember back on those old times, when she used to run those long, white stair up and down.

That was when her mother had been around.

She saw a head peaking from the door.

''Can I help you, dear?'' she asked, looking at Summer.

''No. I'm fine.'' Because she was.

She quickly drove away and towards the church. She got her purse from the back seat and stood up, locking the car.

She saw Marissa and looked how she began to made her way towards Kirsten.

* * *

Marissa walked towards the church, admiring the beauty of it. He saw maybe hundreds of gravestones around herself. The graveyard wasn't so scary looking, because the beautiful morning sun shined.

She saw people walk past Kirsten, hugging her and talking with her. She couldn't even imagine what she must have been going trough. Nobody close relative to her had never died. Or maybe her grandmother, but she was only by one side and she had never even seen her.

Marissa took couple of steps forward, scared to face Kirsten. She hadn't seen the woman in so many years, but still she didn't look a bit older than before.

Finally she came face to face with Kirsten and tears welled up her eyes.

Kirsten gently took her in her arms and whispered ''Thanks for coming'' under her breath.

Marissa walked inside the church and found herself a seat from the back row. She wanted to have her own privacy in case she would begin to cry. Not that she was afraid to cry, but she didn´t want to seem week, if Ryan would happen to see her.

She jumped as someone sat beside her and took her hand. She looked at her side and saw her mom. Julie Cooper looked just like she did five years ago, when they last met.

Julie smiled at her and gave her a small hug.

That was everything Marissa needed to get through this.

* * *

Seth sat in the front row beside his mother. He had to hold his tears as the organ began to play. It was just simply beautiful.

He wrapped her arm around Kirsten as she began to shake. She had always been the strong one, but now Seth was happy to take her part.

Seth locked his eyes on the coffin and listened to the music. Somehow it felt soothing, as if his father would still be in this room with them all.

Sandy Cohen had that skill even after being dead.

The priest began his speech and blessed Sandy. They prayed and tried to sing, but didn't do a very good job with their trembling voices.

Finally the priest seemed to sign Kirsten to stand up. She did so and Seth was just confused.

Kirsten collected all the strength she had left and stood up. She made her way to the speech podium and took a paper out of her purse. She looked ahead and saw everyone's eyes on herself.

''Ah... I have a little something that Sandy once wrote to me,'' Kirsten said surprised by how quiet her voice seemed to be. ''About maybe eight years ago we decided to write letters to each other, in case either one would die. Even I haven't read it yet.''

Kirsten folded the letter open and tried to stop her hands from shaking.

_''Dear Kirsten,_

_As you are reading this letter to everyone, I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now.''_

Kirsten pressed a hand on her chest, trying to stop her heart from aching.

_''Remember...''_

Kirsten couldn´t continue. She couldn't read this letter, that has been written by her dead husband.

She seemed to stand still for hours, but then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking beside herself, she saw Ryan. He carefully takes the paper from her and looks the people ahead of them.

''I think we all want to hear what Sandy has got to say,'' he almost whispers, taking a long, shaky breath.

_''Remember Seth's smile when he was little and always got those new toys? Well, I feel now just as anxious as he must've been then. I have no idea what to say. It all comes down to I love you. I guess that all that matters. _

_I hope we will be as happy in fifty years as we are just now. We have now two sons, and that's all I can hope for. Just imagine what Ryan and Seth would be now without each other. Imagine what our family would be like if Ryan wouldn't have callen me that day. He is like the missing peace of our family and we're so much better having him around. Just remember to tell him that._

_Just now I hope Seth will be married with Summer as he had always dreamed. I remember how he was little and told me what names his babies would have. I think he still remembers them himself so there´s no need for me to embarras him. _

_I hope you move on with your life, even if I'm not around. Do it by yourself or with someone else, but I can't stand the idea, that you cry after me._

_I love you all and I will be watching over all of you.''_

Ryan's voice had began to shake towards the end, but nobody could blame him. They all breathed heavily and had tears streaming down their cheeks.

There was an empty spot in their hearts. The one that Sandy so warmly had filled.

_You are my sweetest downfall  
I loved you first, I loved you first  
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads  
But they're just old light, they're just old light  
Your hair was long when we first met_

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N –** The lyrics are by The Fray.

* * *

**My Sweetest Downfall** – Chapter 3

* * *

What would it feel like, if someone you just met, would die suddenly? You didn't know that person so well, but still it feels like you'd known forever. You listen to people speak about that person, secretly wishing, that you would've been there in those memories.

This person could be your friend, brother, sister, grandma, dad...

This is what happened to Ryan Atwood.

He had finally gotten his life in some kind of balance, but as usually, the drama didn't hide for very long.

He hid in the corner, avoiding everyone else. Never had he felt as awkward as now.

Seth talked with his old classmates as he'd always been friends with them. But Ryan knew, that Seth hadn't set a foot in Newport or even called for that matter.

Marissa enjoyed the company of her mother. Ryan couldn't understand how they could laugh so much in a moment like this. Not that Sandy would've wanted silence.

Summer sat on the opposite side of the room looking lonely, staring at nothing. Ryan felt like going to wrap his arms around that fragile girl.

The high school's perfect group was apart around the room.

* * *

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came_

Summer noticed how Ryan looked at her. She didn't know what he had in mind, but guessed they were similar to her thoughts.

Summer decided to stand up and go talk to her old friend. She sat beside Ryan on the sofa and looked into his wise eyes.

''It's good to see you again, Ryan,'' Summer said, smiling.

''You, too, Summer,'' Ryan said, smiling back.

''You look good,'' Summer took notice. ''As if these last ten years never happened.''

''Right back at you. How's New York?''

''The same old, lonely,'' Summer said, avoiding that topic, looking at her hands. ''Chino?''

''It's good. Teresa's good and Marcus is a really active kid. Grows in scary speed.''

Summer smiled at Ryan's fatherly talk. You could see, that Ryan was satisfied at his life. At least someone was.

''So how's the men of New York?'' Ryan asked, relaxing.

''Nothing... That Mister Right has lost on his way,'' Summer said shyly.

''You wouldn't believe it,'' Ryan snorted. ''How's work?''

That's how their conversation went on for a long time and they came to know each other all over again.

It was nice to talk to an old friend.

* * *

_As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

Seth felt jellous in his stomach as he watched Ryan and Summer relaxed looking talk.

He took his gaze off and listened what the ex-waterpolo player had to say. Half of it went past ears.

Seth jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and found himself face to face with his mother.

They looked at each other for a long time. Finally Kirsten took hold of her son's hand and lead him to her bedroom.

''Come back,'' Kirsten whispered.

Seth was confused at his mother's words, even as he perfectly understood what she was talking about.

''I can't. It's been... too long.''

Seth felt how tears began to well as he saw his mother's disappointment.

''Seth, it was your father's last wish,'' Kirsten whispered. ''He wanted you all back together.''

Seth felt the tears on his cheeks as he thought about his father.

He wrapped his thing arms around Kirsten and let the tears run down.

Mother and son finally shared their grief. The final wish was filled.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

* * *

Four former best friends ended up walking down the beach.

The sunset faded in the horizon and the quiet waves of the ocean fit in the view. The silent group walked in a small, warm breeze.

The night was perfect.

They walked hand in hand down the shore towards the lifeguard tower. They managed to make a camp fire nex to it, when the night became cold.

No one had to say a word, they all understood each other.

Everyone stared at those magical flames, enjoying the comfortable silence.

''Well, this is nice,'' Marissa said suddenly.

''Yeah,'' others said almost at once.

Smoothly they began to remember their teenage years. Sometimes the beach echoed in laughter, sometimes cheeks were stained from tears.

Summer looked into eyes of everyone around herself.

''Let's do this again sometime?''

The others nodded, agreeing.

Maybe fate was on their sides after all.

* * *

THE END


End file.
